This is is a quick promo for my latest project. I've been working two months straight learning about youtube, photoshop, Davinci Resolve (for video editing) and SO MUCH research on events and histories around the world. The video quality gets better with each release! Please take some time to check it out. If you like it, please subscribe on youtube. Even if you don't like it, but you don't want me to eat bread from the dumpster, consider supporting me on Patreon!

Looking back on my old posts here, gives me a bit of cringe, but also with a smile. I have been through so much since I used to use this website every single day. I used to practically live in the forums, vote on countless entries to the portals every day, and spent countless hours playing the games. It inspired me to want to make animation, but I never had the resources necessary for it until the last year and a half or so. The truth is I missed it, and I missed the community here, and I've always been afraid to come back and feel like an outsider.

I used to write so much every day, and I don't do that so much more. But I still work hard on producing things, and hopefully I can return to Newgrounds with some of my work. I'll definitely post any animated short films I make here before anywhere else :) <3

I was of a cloud... an iota.
Vaster than solar systems
larger than life.
Yellow, blue,
purple and hues of white.

Within me were flaming white dots
scattered as thoroughly as they painted the sky
stretching out with green flares that shifted my temperament.

I was still cold until then. But my insides had begun to change.
With explosive alchemy and massive lightning bolts of eclectic transfiguration
I could only grow outward.

What was happening?
What grotesque horror could rage with so much chaos?
Woe was this moment where I ceased to exist.
Where my form first appeared lost and I slowly fell apart.
Why could I only grow outward?
Why could I not stay the same?
Would I not feel?

But only bitter time passed in long wait of the end.
And I was only ever growing outward.
Raging fires continued to churn new forms of my own existence.
What was taking so long?

I pondered as I stared longingly at the clouds that used to be a part of me.
I began to wonder if they thought they were me.
Was I even me?
What if I was them?
Surely these confusing questions weren't meant to be asked.
But while I yearned for them to regain my form
they would only hover slightly from beyond my grasp.

When the clouds too started changing, I was dismayed.
They had lost their form. They could only grow outward.
But wasn't this wrong? Shouldn't they be spared my fate?
If only we would recombine, our forms would remain.
But what had started as a change from within
became a change of my environment as well.
I was soon very sad to lose my view...

Sometimes I would have intense dreams of a new sensation
that encompassed everything
recycling itself over and over again at all times everywhere!...
And when I wasn't dreaming anymore, it felt like the sensation was somehow always there,
I just couldn't always feel it...

More time passed.
Having less a part of me made myself easier to understand.
I discovered that the brilliant white lights inside of me were in fact volatile and unpredictable:
explosions that seemed to last forever, until they finally die.
They are mighty.
They spin rocks around and incinerate everything that gets too close.
In death, they shudder one last fiery breath that blows everything I am around it.
After death, they still wreak havoc. They eat everything around them for a very long time.

I wished I did not have suns anymore. They felt like a sickness.
I blamed them for making me change.
I wondered:
What will happen once they have eaten too much?
I didn't think it would be something bad for me, so I was not anxious.
And for the very first time, I was curious.
But still I grew outward.
My form ever changing in wild, and often violent ways that I could not control.

My curiosity grew.
I learned that I wasn't dying, I was changing.
I realized I was also waiting.
But I didn't know what for.

(End of Part One)

--------------------------------
Phoenix Godwin
03-10-2012

This is supposed to be part one of a three piece set called "Iota". It follows an existential personification of a mere iota of existence. It grows and changes, gradually developing it's sense of self-awareness, only to grow and change even further...

If anybody would like to help animate and/or make music to go with this I'd like to collaborate on something like that. I've recorded myself reading it to the track "Stay With Me" from Clint Mansel's soundtrack to "The Fountain". They go pretty well together, I think. But at the moment I don't have anything to do with the recording...

So there's a HUGE protest going on in New York CIty. DId you know that? It's in it's second week, and has gotten incredibly little to no news coverage on American mainstream news media. I first learned about it through word of mouth, and even then I had to go to a British news site to learn anything about it. Since then a friend of mine also linked me to a Facebook page that is constantly feeding out information and links to small websites and blogs with bits of current information. I have seen videos of violent arrests, and watched live footage where people pleaded for medical care for the violently arrested victims locked up in jail. Right before I started writing this, I joined a surge of people in the protest network spreading phone numbers for major news networks trying to get hem to cover the story. Since then, articles have been released by some of the major news outlets. I watched it happen.

So what is it that all these people are protesting exactly?

It's clear that the people involved are tired of our economic system, that much is obvious without very much digging. But even on the protest's 'official' website (https://occupywallst.org), it's hard to get a bead on what exactly the protestors are trying to make happen. Here's their mission statement:

"Occupy Wall Street is leaderless resistance movement with people of many colors, genders and political persuasions. The one thing we all have in common is that We Are The 99% that will no longer tolerate the greed and corruption of the 1%.

On the 17th of September, we want to see 20,000 people to flood into lower Manhattan, set up beds, kitchens, peaceful barricades and occupy Wall Street for a few months.

Like our brothers and sisters in Egypt, Greece, Spain, and Iceland, we plan to use the revolutionary Arab Spring tactic of mass occupation to restore democracy in America. We also encourage the use of nonviolence to achieve our ends and maximize the safety of all participants."

That all sounds well and good, but it's not very concise, is it? What do they actually want? It took a little more digging, but eventually I got to the original "#OccupyWallStreet" Facebook event page (https://www.facebook.com/event.php?ei d=144937025580428), which states:

"The beauty of this new formula, and what makes this novel tactic exciting, is its pragmatic simplicity: we talk to each other in various physical gatherings and virtual people's assemblies ... we zero in on what our one demand will be, a demand that awakens the imagination and, if achieved, would propel us toward the radical democracy of the future ... and then we go out and seize a square of singular symbolic significance and put our asses on the line to make it happen.

... we want to see 20,000 people flood into lower Manhattan, set up tents, kitchens, peaceful barricades and occupy Wall Street for a few months. Once there, we shall incessantly repeat our one simple demand until Barack Obama capitulates."

This is still somewhat abstract, but that's the beauty of it. This is real. This is a unified cause. This is a massive gathering of disenfranchised people, and that's what matters first and foremost. A lot of us go about our daily lives and pretend like nothing is wrong, but deep down you all know that we could be doing things better somehow- even if you also acknowledge that the U.S. is better off than most of the rest of the world. Not a single person I have ever meant doesn't have SOME complaint about the ways our society works. The people of Occupy Wall Street feel that a lot of that could be fixed with changes to the corporate system. They didn't gather because they knew what needed to be done- thousands of people have gathered because they knew SOMETHING had to be done. And they picked wall street because they know that the problem has roots planted in the economic system.

There's live music, and people dancing. There's people of all ages, beliefs, and political leanings. They're are mobile bloggers, and speakers on soapboxes. They're all happy to be there with each other to make a voice that could actually DO something. It's a peaceful, it's fun, it's exciting, and it's a celebration of unification among those who believed in this enough to put their personal lives on hold for it.

Yet the city of New York and the corporate media have aggressively made it clear that they do not approve. Mass arrests for everything from photography to wearing masks (even if it wasn't covering their face) have taken place. NYPD has used baton beatings, body slams, mace spray in the face of mothers, and other bullying or manipulative tactics in an attempt to quell the event. The major news networks have NOT been covering the event on television. It's not that they don't cover protest groups- anybody who watches the news these days know they do. So what is it about his one? (I tried to call them and ask. I asked the representatives if they had been given a reason why their network hasn't been covering the issue. CNN, CBS and MSNBC all immediately transferred me to a line where I could record a "question or comment".)

The fact is, the people with the money and the power and the resources to do something about it (read: corporations, politicians, and corporate funded politicians) don't want you to know about the protest. They don't want this to last for months and they don't want any change in their systems affected by the middle and lower class. Ask yourself why corporate networks wouldn't cover a major event like this: thousands of people gathered in New York City in peaceful solidarity, met with aggressive police behavior- that should be the story of the year! Ask yourself why the police would react with hostility in the first place.

Without a doubt, Occupy Wall Street needs to figure out where they actually stand. A gathering of people with no specific purpose, no matter how large, won't get anything accomplished other than getting in the way or raising people's awareness to something broad and intangible. But this is a HUGE step. O.W.S. has actually made their targets nervous enough to make themselves look bad trying to stop it. If they could form a more specific purpose and direction that's not too radical, then the Wall Street protest can actually one day have made a difference.

Get involved. Get online. Tweet, blog, Facebook update, and tell people what's going on right now in Wall Street, and what you think should be changed. If you can and are willing, go to Wall Street! The more people that get involved, the better the chances something good can happen from it.

Phoenix Godwin
9-25-2011

Here are some more useful links for getting involved.

http://www.livestream.com/globalrevolu tion
(Live video feed broadcasted from within the protest group, as well as access to live text and twitter chats)

http://www.adbusters.org/campaigns/occ upywallstreet
(twitter feed updates on the site that originally called for the gathering)

You can also call the NYC 1st precinct at 1-888-692-7233. (any extension) and request protection for the protestors in the plaza (which are currently surrounded by police), and medical care for the protestors they've violently arrested.

You can spread this article by spreading this link:
http://independentthought.tumblr.com/p ost/10644494303/uncovering-the-wall-st reet-protest

"Reasonable doubt". It's a phrase most are familiar with in regards to the criminal justice system. It started with early British Christians who were wary of taking judgement upon another person- something which they felt was only God's place to do so. By the 1780's it became a standard beyond which all guilty convictions must be held- something the American justice system didn't hesitate to officially adapt. Today, when an American juror is instructed the legal rules of how to decide a criminal case, they are told to apply this standard of being 'guilty beyond a reasonable doubt'. The rule is there specifically to preserve the court's "Presumption of innocence". Basically, it's what makes everyone innocent until proven guilty. This system was originally meant to to protect innocent people from conviction. This system has failed.

Troy Anthony Davis has been sentenced to death. As much as I would like to, I'm not going to tear into the moral hypocrisy of the death penalty right now. Because right now I think it's more important that people know his story.

Troy Davis grew up in Savannah, Georgia, in a mostly black, middle class neighborhood called Cloverdale. His neighbors knew him as a decent young man, and the children of the area looked up to him. He would fix children's bikes and help them set up their basketball stands. When his younger sister Kim became wheelchair bound from multiple sclerosis, he often dedicated himself to her aid, and eventually helped her as she took her first steps without crutches. One warm August night in 1989, Troy Davis and his friend Darrell Collins went to a pool party. Along the way back, they met up with Sylvester 'Redd' Coles at a Burger King, who was arguing with a homeless man over a beer. What happened next has been a matter of debate for over twenty years.

It was originally testified by Coles that Troy joined in and pistol-whipped the homeless man, at which point off-duty police officer Mark MacPhail (working as a security guard) came to the scene. MacPhail was shot before he even drew a weapon, and shot again after he hit the ground. People testified to having seen Troy commit the crime. Since then however, most of the witnesses have recanted their testimony. Many of the available witnesses have since said that they were intimidated by police into identifying Troy as the killer. Obviously this grievous act against an officer in uniform could not go unpunished- the police at the time probably didn't want any of that 'reasonable doubt' crap getting in the way of their revenge execution.

Even more, since then there have been three legal statements made by people who claim that Coles since confessed to having committed the murder himself- a sentiment Troy's lawyer shares as well. At this point we even know that Coles was in possession of the same caliber pistol which shot MacPhail (though he claims to have 'given it to a friend' the night before the incident). It's not my place to accuse Sylvester Coles of scapegoating his crime to Troy, but I don't need to. The fact is, the reasons for doubting Troy's guilt are clear and evident. However, Troy can no longer make an appeal due to the Antiterrorism and Effective Death Penalty act of 1996, which was designed essentially to quicken and finalize death penalties.

Let me break it down: If our criminal justice system fails just one of us, it is in truth failing ALL of us. If our legal system kills innocents, then it is no longer OUR justice system- or even a JUSTICE system. It is the bureaucracy's, and it is just a system. A system with no morals, no ethics, and no principles. A processing system designed to keep people in line that can't be bothered with taking the time to observe things like actual truth and justice. I'm not okay with this because I care about truth. I care about justice. And right now there is a battle going on between Truth and Bureaucracy, and one of them has a hell of a lot bigger stick.

-Phoenix Godwin

9-18-2011

Troy's not dead yet, but he will be if people don't do something about it. Here are small things you can do to help preserve justice in regards to this case:

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

1. Sign the Amnesty USA petition, asking the GA Board of Pardons & Parole to grant Troy clemency, and forward it to others.

2. Collect signatures on a download-able version of the petition.

3. If you are a lawyer or a legal professional: add your name to the legal professional sign-on letter

4. If you are a member of the clergy: add your name to the clergy sign-on letter.

5. If you have contacts with legal professionals or members of the clergy, forward them the sign-on letters and urge them to sign.

6. If you have contacts in Georgia, urge them to sign the petition or, sign-on letters (if they are legal professionals or members of the clergy.) It is important that the Board know that this issue matter to folks around the country and around the world-but especially that it matters to folks in Georgia.

7. 1 million Tweets for Troy!
If you are Twitter user than please consider tweeting for Troy.
Some sample tweets include:

When in doubt, don't execute!! Sign the petition for #TroyDavis! www.tinyurl.com/troyepetition

Too much doubt! Stop the execution! #TroyDavis needs us! www.tinyurl.com/troyepetition

No room for doubt! Stop the execution of #TroyDavis . Retweet, sign petitionwww.tinyurl.com/troyepetition

Case not "ironclad", yet Georgiacould execute #TroyDavis ! Not on our watch! Petition:www.tinyurl.com/troyepetition

No murder weapon. No physical evidence. Stop the execution! #TroyDavis petition:www.tinyurl.com/troyepetition

7 out of 9 eyewitnesses recanted. No physical evidence. Stop the execution of #TroyDaviswww.tinyurl.com/troyepetitio n

("What You Can Do" List compiled by Jen Marlowe via http://www.troyanthonydavis.org/call-t o-action.html)

Information sources:

http://multimedia.savannahnow.com/medi a/DavisMcPhail/1989/198908AUG24NEIGHBO RSREACT.pdf

http://www.troyanthonydavis.org/troy.p df

http://troyanthonydavis.org/troy2.pdf

http://www.troyanthonydavis.org/News-c overage.html

http://hnn.us/articles/47018.html

-UPDATE-

Rest in peace Troy Anthony Davis
10/9/1968 - 9/21/2011

There have always been problems in our society, and nobody disagrees with that. Over time, these problems have remained relatively the same for a good 80-90 years. Of course, we've done great things over that period of time as well. I don't think that as a species we'll ever stop doing amazing things unless we are destroyed by nature or ourselves. What makes me (and others like me) stand apart from the decades old stereotype of dissenter is the time period we specifically live in. Consider how complicated everything is right now. Society involves far more complexities now than it ever has before, and a lot of that is because of things that have happened within my lifetime. Cellphone use. Internet. Social Networking. Camera's in nearly everybody's hands. Public music sharing. Outsourcing. Importing. Exporting. International relations. All of these things are the way they are now because of developments that have occurred within the last twenty years. It's significantly complicated things by massively increasing the level of communication and community we have. Suddenly, things all over the world have effects that can travel any distance in nearly an instant. Of course humanity as a whole has been moving in that direction since we first started creating empires back in ancient history. Now we're here though, and there is a critical flaw in how our society is using it. The flaw stems from the base of most of this nation's problems over the last century.

As a nation, we have taken great strides to ensure that we are and remain a physically and economically powerful entity. We have made changes to the initial design of the system and made efforts specifically in order to keep it that way. We've built and empowered world corporations to make them into infallible resources that the whole world can depend on. Despite that, we really haven't taken any serious efforts to just make the nation a better place to live. The only ways that we have are commercial, which in turn attributes to our economic strengths. This is a serious problem, and it is incredibly short-sighted.

The thing that is going to destroy us isn't a weak economy. As I've said before, the thing that can destroy humanity is nature or ourselves. Those aren't mutually exclusive- in fact, we wouldn't be here if it weren't for nature- we're a part of it. Yet we sacrifice nature and ourselves for our socioeconomic power. We make ourselves and others suffer for that power with little regard for how we effect nature in the process. In order to do that, we have an increasingly rigid law system in place to ensure that everyone behaves as a productive member of society. Instead of focusing on making our country a nicer place to live, we specifically focus on making our society conform to a more efficient and powerful economic machine. I'm not saying that we shouldn't have trade or currency- that's a naturally forming process throughout nature. But what we're doing wrong is trying to force society to flawlessly perform a system that goes beyond the actual capabilities of humanity- that's why we've had a lot of the same problems for so long. We continue to try to force humanity to conform to this machine, and not only does it not work perfectly by any means, but society is getting more complicated.

In this advent of technology and communication we are experiencing, we are witnessing our innovations be used to keep people in line with our system, and it still doesn't work. All it does is make more people unhappy, in jail, in ruins, or on the streets- because they couldn't conform to our societal system. I think in the end it should be obvious that that only serves to hurt us. If we continue focusing on forcing people to conform to that system, the measures will only get more and more extreme (as they have been for nearly a century). However, if we focused on improving our society in a less constricting and more tolerant manner, a lot of our problems would probably get worked out. Not only that, but as the only country that behaved in that manner, we would easily really and truly become the greatest and probably most economically powerful nation of all time.

Until then, our current form of self-preservation is only going to serve to harm us both immediately and over time. That's why I want people to pay attention. The things that we do now will decide the fate of society for decades at least. Now is a crucial time to be standing up for what is right and what is truly freedom. It's a whole new part of history we're starting, and it will be the actions of the people that decides how it starts.

-Phoenix Godwin

Here's some extra stuff you can read in order to better understand the very real problems we are facing today, despite the fact that most people don't even seem to realize it:

The Human Future: A Problem in Design.
Here is a fantastic transcribed speech by Daniel Quinn, author of such books as "Ishmael", and "The Story of B". It explains very clearly some of the inherent problems with the nature of current human society.

Five Steps to Totalitarian Rule
This is an article by journalist Josh Levin that explains the steps necessary for us to achieve a totalitarian society. It's not hard to see that we're beginning to ease in that direction.

I do not believe in "God" as a sentient, omnipotent, or omniscient being- in fact I don't believe in 'God' as a 'being' at all. I believe that the Universe (Existence) is infinitely vast and intricate. Through studying the patterns in nature, I am fairly certain that Existence operates on what some call "organized chaos"; the universe is constantly changing and 'growing' in chaotic ways, but it follows patterns and systems that allow it to sustain itself. I personally am constantly aware of everything being a part of overall Existence, especially myself as I am the thing that I know best. I am amazed by it and find myself in constant wonder, inquisition, and awe. I think that what most people think of as "God" is just Existence as a whole. In that respect, we are all part of that "God". It makes sense, really: you exist, so you are part of existence. My personal speculation? Sentient thought in living organisms may be a very early part of the process by which the Universe is slowly becoming self-aware. Or rather, the development of organisms with sentient thought like ours may be the beginning of a process in which the Universe develops 'nodes' of perception within itself. I'd feel silly stating that our level of awareness is the highest that's been reached in the Universe. Maybe there are already other species who live in a state of constant Enlightenment, somewhere out there in the vastness of space. But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. It's important to fully understand sentience, and what "Awareness" is and how there are varying degrees of it.

'Awareness' is something with multiple levels of obtainability. For example, my pet turtle has all of the perceptual senses that we do (and even a bit more), yet he doesn't recognize his own reflection, nor the limits of his own existence. He is constantly swimming against the glass in a vain attempt to get past it (The idea comes to mind that maybe in his perception he has achieved further movement and is not just swimming in place. It's hard to imagine how a turtle perceives such things). He knows when he is hungry, when his cold-blooded circulatory system needs a temperature change, and when a possible threat is presenting itself. Beyond that, his simple reptilian brain isn't capable of very much. Most likely, the idea that it has lucid thoughts (particularly of an existential nature) is probably merely a projection of our own ideas and concepts overlaid onto a function that we can't sympathize with nor do we fully understand. Dogs obviously have a heightened sense of awareness. They have all the same vital mental functions that the turtle has (although this one is warm blooded), and they still do not recognize themselves in a mirror (sometimes particularly smart ones seem to, but I'm generalizing here). But dogs do display emotions. They get attached to the presence of particular individuals (usually caretakers, but either way they recognize that it's easier to fare better with others as opposed to in solitude) and they can recognize other species as beings even without familiar pheremonal or predator/prey interaction. It's been said that most dogs have the intelligence of a five-year-old. I'd say that's a generally fare assessment and it contributes to the idea that their sense of awareness is inferior to ours. They might have more lucid thoughts than that of a turtle, but it's highly unlikely that they experience existentialism.

Finally, to really round off my explanation of Awareness is Humans. First off, all humans do not share a unanimous level of Awareness. Awareness is the consideration of everything around you and your relation to it. To many people, their lives only relate to the small little bubble that their lives take place in. They get hung up on trivial or petty things that on the big picture really just don't matter. A huge and crippling example of this is prejudice. In the big picture the things that cause prejudice are petty and small, but to those who hold it it's based on important dogmas that are inherent to their lives and the things they have been told- it's incredibly self-centered and detrimental to the quality and fulfillment of life. As sentient beings, we have the ability to increase our level of awareness- that's what sentience is- and it is the key thing that separates us from the turtles and the dogs and such. We are all sentient thoughts that have formed in this vast 'mess' that we call Reality. I think it's important to compel one's self to grow and increase their awareness beyond that of which their environment naturally endows. The peak of this is called "Enlightenment", which I believe is a moment where your sentience (or 'individuality'- more on that in the next paragraph) completely disassociates from your own life (ego), and instead associates with everything else. Not necessarily understanding everything in or about Existence, but having a clear and concise feeling of being a part of everything as opposed to just being the person you are who has lived the life that you have.

I think that what most people think of as the "Soul" is in actuality just our Individuality. If you think about it, everything about you is simply a single sentient thought that has been growing and learning and bouncing around off of all the things you have perceived throughout your lifetime. It originates and lives within the brain, and it is responsible for people's will, drive, dedication, and pretty much any other thing that people would attribute to the soul. Individuality is as unique as DNA, and it builds and grows as it experiences and perceives different things throughout life. I think it's a very real possibility that it dies with the body it originated in- but who knows? The Universe is incredibly complex, and so is Individuality. I'm not sure that anyone living is actually capable of saying for certain what happens to that Individuality after death. It might just be destroyed (as hard as that is for many to accept), or maybe something else happens that is scientifically feasible in a way that we do not yet understand. Most of the cultures that look inward in response to their existentialism tend to believe pretty strongly in reincarnation. These are the same cultures that hold a great deal of significance in "Enlightenment", so maybe there's something to it.

Again: Who knows? But there is a lot of fun to be had in trying to find out. We know that prayer is functionally ineffective anyway because for every person that gets what they pray for, there are a good few who don't. The only thing that will actually bring about your desired results are actions, and sometimes even then the situation may just be beyond your control (see "Butterfly Effect"- the concept, not the movie. Though you can watch the movie if you like- I strongly recommend the Director's Cut over the theatrical version). So take action in your own life. Maybe you don't care much for 'Enlightenment', but you can still try to spread your sense of Awareness as much as possible. Be good to others and be good to nature, taking only what you need from it. Remember that it's all part of the same Existence, and your life can be much more fulfilling.

--------------------------------------

I leave you with two quotes from the venerable Albert Einstein. Though he himself came to doubt some of the directions from which he approched certain scientific principles, his genius and wisdom are incontrovertible:

"A human being is a part of the whole, called by us "Universe", a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest - a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security."

An alternate version of this quote states:

"A human being is a part of the whole, called by us "Universe," a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest-a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. The striving to free oneself from this delusion is the one issue of true religion. Not to nourish it but to try to overcome it is the way to reach the attainable measure of piece of mind"
--From a letter that has been dated February 12th, 1950.

"A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move toward higher levels."
--May 25th, 1946

When people hear "conspiracy", they normally think of shadow governments, impossibly complex plots, Illuminati, or Matt Damon. The word is associated with a stigma of irrational thoughts and paranoia that generally makes a lot of people automatically shut down whenever they start to hear anything even resembling the concept. I can't say that I blame them. From chemtrails to lizard people, there are any number of ludicrous conspiracy theories that really aren't worth any of the stress and time people put into them. Yet still they do, and there will always be people who subscribe to them for one reason or the other.

That's not to say that conspiracies don't happen- sometimes they totally do, and they end up getting revealed for different reasons. One famous example was the CIA's project MKULTRA, which experimented with the idea of brain manipulation and control- particularly with LSD.

It's important to realize that conspiracies do happen occasionally. I don't think that they are the complicated, ambiguous, and open-ended plots that many people associate them with, though. In fact, sometimes they are done with arguably good intentions. Keep this in mind, because it's an important part of what I'm going to say.

On May 1st, 2011 at 11:35pm (EST), United States President Barack Obama gave a nine minute televised speech stating that Al-Qaeda leader Osama Bin Laden had been shot and killed by a Navy SEAL strike team in Pakistan. While most of the nation rejoiced and made drunken fools of themselves on live newsfeeds throughout the country, I went online to find some more information. The first thing I tried to do was find a postmortem photograph of the body- not out of a sense of morbidity or triumph, but because I wanted to see evidence of it myself. I'm a natural skeptic like that. I was quickly surprised and dismayed by the fact that there were no photographs. Considering how big of a deal this was, evidence of the fact just seemed like the next natural step. I spent about the next ten hours paying close attention for any details that might emerge and writing an article on how I displeased I was with the lack of evidence. During that time Bin Laden's body was reported to be dropped into the ocean- before the DNA test was complete. And a fake photo of Osama's body that was being shown on the news in Baghdad was called into question. The photo turned out to be fake.

The next day I was still watching out for pictures or evidence, and none arose. Though, CIA director Leon Panetta said that photos would be released, also saying:

"The bottom line is that, you know, we got bin Laden and I think we have to reveal to the rest of the world the fact that we were able to get him and kill him"

That night I started writing another article. I was pissed that our government still hadn't released any pictures. At that point the White House had made statements about their apprehensiveness to release pictures, but they were for completely insubstantial reasons. One of the reasons they gave was that the pictures were "gruesome", as if it was their responsibility to coddle us and censor us from violence. This does not in any way seem like a rational reason to keep evidence about an important event away from the nation- let alone the entire world. As John Stewart said on the subject:

"Too gory ... yeah ... have you met us? From 8 p.m. on, every show on television that we watch begins with an internal tracking shot of a gaping wound above someone's eye, pulling out to reveal half a hooker in a dumpster discovered by a child on a bicycle. You know what we call it? 'Prime time.'"

The other reason they cited was that the pictures could be antagonizing to potential terrorists- but that's a bullshit scapegoat argument. This is a country notorious for not negotiating with terrorist- that is to say that generally speaking we don't give a damn what they think, and if they don't like it they can go straight to hell. The other problem with the logic to that argument is that those same potential terrorists are surely already pissed. Al-Qaeda isn't going to get more angry just because we release postmortem photos of a man they already think is dead. And if they do, again, who cares? Certainly not the general American public. We feel safe because during the last nine years our intelligence and military prowess has done a damn fine job of keeping the violence against us outside of our own borders.

In that article I brought up Abu al-Zarqawi, the reported leader of the Iraqi Al-Qaeda, and how after assassinating him we released pictures. They weren't released as trophies, they were released as procedural evidence. By the time his body had been given away to be buried, well more than 24 hours had passed.

I concluded the article by saying that by that time, simple photographic proof would no longer be substantial to all the people who held doubts about the White House's truth on the matter. I basically said that if they even wanted to appear to care about whether we trusted them or not, they would need release (surely existing) footage from the raid.

After I published that article online, that footage was said to have existed in the form of recordings from helmet mounted cameras on the Navy SEAL strike-team.

It was later announced that these expensive and technologically advanced helmet cams somehow mysteriously malfunctioned specifically during the time of the raid. That same day, President Obama announced that photographic evidence of the incident would not be released.

Like many others, I was confused and frustrated. All over the media, news sources are questioning these decisions by the White House. Why would the government be so secretive about this event? What do they possibly have to gain from keeping any proof from us, and why would they not care that it is affecting the people's trust? Let's face it, the U.S. government isn't stupid. They suffer from a few problems and a lot of in-fighting, sure- but they're not stupid. I'm confident that they wouldn't cite such silly reasons for not giving us photographic proof of Osama's death, or do contradictory things that would inspire so much doubt about their honesty- unless they had a damn good reason. I am about to tell you that reason.

I obviously do not have proof yet, but I am confident that this is the only logical conclusion. When I came to this conclusion, I thought long and hard about whether or not I should pursue exposing the truth in this matter. We have been lied to, but for legitimate reasons that have our own best interest in mind. In the end, I realized that to compromise my ethics would be unacceptable. I am a firm believer in Truth, and even if I believe in the reasons for it, I don't think it is okay for the government to lie to us outright. If it's okay this time, than we imply that it is okay for them to do it at other times. This lie may be harmless for us, but how bad does it have to finally get before we eventually stand up for ourselves and say that lying to us as a nation is not okay? That lying to the world is not okay? And what if it's too late by then?

I say no. The Truth must be uprooted and showcased for all to see, because we are not sheep. (Some of you are, but hey, what can really be done about that? Nothing, usually.)

Osama bin Laden is not dead. Yet.

As the leader of Al-Qaeda, a group we are still at 'war' with, Osama bin Laden is the single most valuable holder of information on the planet in that respect. To simply assassinate him would be incredibly poor foresight on the part of our war efforts. It would be irreversible and incredibly self damaging to simply eradicate him. When the people who planned the Bin Laden raid got together, I'm sure that it was absolutely imperative that they secure Osama alive unless he were a direct threat to a soldiers life, which he wasn't. Odds are really good that they assembled the most efficient and possessional strike team they could, and equipped them with the best equipment possible. You better believe that when they did that they had more intentions than just killing him only to not prove to anybody that they had.

No. Osama bin Laden is almost certainly alive, and will be until they extract every bit of information from him that they can. Why would they hide this? Because our government- believe it or not- is not made up purely of a bunch of incompetent, irresponsible dickheads. There's only one way that we can reasonably hope to get that sort of information from that sort of person, and our government calls it "Enhanced Interrogation".

Torture.

The government is lying to you about Osama bin Laden's death because they have to interrogate him for information in order to better service the defense of the American people. It is for your protection.

Can you imagine the repercussions if word were to get out that Osama bin Laden was being held captive and unconstitutionally interrogated? Imagine the court hearings. Imagine the jihads. Imagine the Al-Qaeda members willing to go to any lengths to make us release him- they would kill innocents all over the place- because that's what they do.

However.

I am not okay with being lied to by our government for any reason, and neither should you. What can you do about it? Be angry. Spread the word. Spread this article. Write your local politicians. Anything.

The only way this could truly be exposed is if it's done quickly by the people actually getting their shit together and doing something about it. Unless they are in on it, the United Nations would investigate this if it became apparent that it was a possibility. If too much time passes though, the evidence will be gone. The government will kill Osama when they are done (and possibly take pictures of his body to "leak" to the internet) and destroy the body. It will be too late, and all because the apathetic assholes here in this country couldn't think enough for themselves to question the bullshit being laid out in front of them.

Please guys. Be angry.

---------------------------Update 5-11-2011--------------------------

So a new development has come up, in which Osama bin Laden's family is calling shenanigans as well. Omar bin Laden, the son of Osama bin Laden- has released a statement on behalf of him and his family expressing their disdain for the lack of information and evidence regarding Osama's death.

The entirety of the statement can be read here.

"I Omar Ossama Bin Ladin and my brothers the lawful children and heirs of the Ossama Binladin (OBL) have noted wide coverage of the news of the death of our father, but we are not convinced on the available evidence in the absence of dead body, photographs, and video evidence that our natural father is dead. Therefore, with this press statement, we seek such conclusive evidence to believe the stories published in relation to 2 May 2011 operation Geronimo as declared by the President of United States Barrack Hussein Obama in his speech that he authorized the said operation and killing of OBL and later confirmed his death.....

......Most importantly, when it is a common knowledge that OBL's family is residing at one place outside KSA, why they were not contacted to receive his dead body. His sudden and un witnessed burial at sea has deprived the family of performing religious rights of a Muslim man"

I think that last part is really important. It puts a lot of stress on the impromptu claimed burial of Osama, particularly when considering that the given reason for it was that it was out of respect for traditional Islamic funeral rites. So not only does that reasoning contradict previous times where we've assassinated Islamic extremist leaders, but but it contradicts itself because a fundamental part of the process was completely bypassed.

"Without agreeing to the ways of OBL as to how he professed, believed and operated, We Omar Ossama Binladin, and my brothers, the lawful children of the Ossama Binladin (OBL) herewith demand an inquiry under UNO to reach to the accuracy of the facts....

....Failure to answer these questions will force us to go to International forum for justice such as International Criminal Court and International Court of Justice and UN must take notice of the violation of international law and assist us to have answers for which we are lawful in seeking them. A panel of eminent British and international lawyers is being constituted and a necessary action may be taken if no answers are furnished within 30 days of this statement."

Omar has shown himself on numerous occasions to be a fairly intelligent and well meaning individual. He has publicly opposed his father's ways and actions many times, and has constantly exhibited support for peace between the Islamic and Western world. He's not doing this as a vengeful "Fuck you!" to America for his father being taken from him, he's doing it because the event goes against examples previously set by our nation and it's ideals, and his family feels that whatever happened, it was particularly unfair to them- and they want answers.

No matter how you look at it, the news that has been released to the public has been engineered- that is to say that deliberate decisions were made as to when, how, and how much of this information would be released.

A lot of people seem really excited about these recent events, but I would like the peace at mind that The People aren't getting fucked with. Afterwards I really won't care, but until then I wish it were easier to find any of the actual evidence that it happened besides the fact that our news and government says it happened. For example, I hate that the only death photo I can find right now is this.

I'm not trying to make any inferences myself, but I encourage everyone to do their own digging. It's responsible, and that way everyone will see if things start to not add up quite the way they should. I cannot stress enough my frustration that there aren't tons of details easily accessible by now.

Don't get me wrong. Most likely Osama is dead. Either that or or he's fine but in a situation where if all goes well no one who matters will ever see or hear from him again. If there's any information to be legitimately questioned in non-rhetorical ways here it's when Osama was killed.

But we don't know when or how or where or anything. We know that we've just been told about his death- and that's it.

Here is the link to the official story page for MSNBC that is constantly being updated.

According to that article "The special operations forces were on the ground for less than 40 minutes and the operation was watched in real-time by CIA director Leon Panetta"

If that's the case I want the footage- unedited and unadulterated. There's not even the slightest reason to doubt that the footage exists because obviously whatever feed Panetta would have used to oversee the operation would have been backed up in case they needed it for anything- like proving to the world that they killed Osama Bin Laden at the time and place they said they did. And hey, maybe they did all of that and they just haven't seen any reason to make that footage public- or pictures of his dead body. Well if that's the case, here's me asking nicely for the government to get their butts in gear and give us the evidence. If that arduous asshole Donald Trump could get Obama to provide something as silly and trivial as proof that he is indeed an American citizen, then I don't see this being too far-fetched of a request by any means.

I want a full autopsy that includes the time of death. I want confirmed DNA tests from multiple sources- oh wait they don't have a cadaver anymore.

What?! What in the world were you possibly thinking, Government? Get rid of the only physical proof as to when the body died and who they were? Well surely you at least have your own DNA test results you can show us-

Oh...

According to the above article- and others like it, the DNA testing is still underway. It's not just me, right? Doesn't that seem insanely stupid?

I'm not trying to run around crying about the government lying to us or the sky falling- I'm just saying that we have been given very selective bits of information that leave a lot of things up in the air to be questioned. Right now we have no information about this incident because it hasn't been provided. The responsible thing to do is to pay attention. Research everything they say and do regarding this event, because this is a crucial point in history. If this has been lied about, the only way we would ever know is by persistently investigating all relevant information (which I believe they'll give us on their own time, when they've had sufficient time to "engineer" the information to suit applicable needs) and ravenously jumping on any inconsistencies like a dingo on a baby. Only at that point will we be able to take the next step and actually find out WHY they would be lying to us.

But until then we have nothing, really. To assume anything for certain right now would be a fallacy.

-------------update 5-4-2011-------------------

This is a follow up to the initial article found here.

It's been a day now and we still don't have any pictures. This isn't an issue of morbidity or personal satisfaction- it's about Truth. There's really no good reason for the 'debate' to have gone on this long, and evidence needs to be available to those who want it. An iron curtain on our own government is absolutely unacceptable.

For those who bring up the idea that the U.S. is concerned about antagonizing potential terrorists, that's a bullshit scapegoat argument. This is a country notorious for not negotiating with terrorist- that is to say that generally speaking we don't give a damn what they think, and if they don't like it they can go straight to hell.

Who here remembers Abu al-Zarqawi? After we assassinated him pictures of the body were released. And you know what? We didn't just dump him off in the ocean either. I'm pretty sure he wasn't even buried within 24 hrs of his death.

The thing is, a picture (especially at this point) really wouldn't be enough to be accepted as credible evidence by most people who already have doubts. That's part of what bothers me. I feel like the government would be smart enough to realize that not releasing the pictures would stir a significant amount of distrust whether it's unwarranted or not- especially since they got rid of the body so quickly.

I honestly believe they should release the video footage of the raid that the CIA most likely has (unless they did something else with particularly poor foresight- but I highly doubt that). This wouldn't really endanger anyone involved in the operation. We wouldn't be able to see the SEAL's faces, I'm sure. Any names could easily be removed, and they have a dynamic enough tactical system to where I doubt their general strategy could really be compromised by releasing it. Since the body is gone this is probably the only real substantial proof the people should accept. If the government cared about how much The People trust them (which it is of my strong opinion that they should) then they would be doing that, but they're not. They might later, but the longer they take the easier it is to fake it, which is why I've been trying to get other people to pay attention.

Even if they have been completely honest with us the whole time and just haven't been completely open, I want them to change because as naive as it may sound to some I think the Truth is important. I know I'm not the only one.

I dreamed a woman from the ocean.

There were no signs of this, save for the smell of ocean breeze
and the seaweed in her hair

I watched her walk along sand in total darkness.

As I came closer, I heard the gentle rollings of the shore
and saw that they came with her bare footsteps

I approached.

Sparkling beads of sea water left her as she walked
Each one a slow descending light of clarity

sand was gently brushed along perfect contours
chaotic and uneven,
and beautiful.
There was life in her.

I heard the crisp callings of the maritime avian.
The birds that lived there.
and they knew her.

I closed the distance faster with a quickened pace.
Driven to know her secrets and tantamount world.

A gull crashed violently to my feet.

Surprised, I looked down and saw a hideous thing.

A contorted creature overcome by blackness.
Writhed and bloated
It was screeching terrible dying breaths
dancing to the explosive expense of it's life force.

Fearful, I looked back up to the girl ahead
and the shadows played damning distortions to my eyes

I leapt forward
Chilled by fear, and heated by adrenaline.
Compelled to save her

I embraced her as she fell, taken over by the horrifying vision.

The blackness drained from her eyes where there should have been water.
deadly and volatile, it perspired from her skin.
She lurched forward with frantic seizure
dying to cry for help
but choking on the blackness.

The waves stopped.
And the tide faded.

The ocean was gone.

. - .

More poetry from me at www.allpoetry.com/PhoenixGodwin